The Mold of a Cock and Bull Story
by Maggie Mae from Penny Lane
Summary: Lady Kamijou felt it was time for her to convince the one her son treasures to conceive a child. She wants somebody to spoil already!


Lady Kamijou was walking out of the post office with a feeling of accomplishment. She had always been one to enjoy parties, the little social butterfly that she was would always flutter towards guests and prospective friends. Though, as of late, she had begun to dread social outings, particularly the ones with women carrying grandchildren pictures in their purses. If she had to look at one more smug hag with a drooling grandchild, she will just hit them on the head with _her _purse, or her husband's briefcase. It was really beginning to be too much for her to handle, and so, with this in mind she decided that she will not be tormented by these pictures this year, she will ensure to get to the bottom of why her son and his uptight girlfriend have not even stated anything about a proposal. Japanese women these days were just too difficult on having children, they are the reason Japan has been having such a negative birth rate!* However, she knew that if her (future) daughter-in-law wanted her approval she would appeal her desire of having a baby Kamijou.

Hiroki had a short workday on Fridays and had gotten home just in time to receive his mail. It seems Akihiko had passed along his displeasure of not receiving any fruits from Lady Kamijou for he had just gotten a huge package from her. He would never admit this to her, but he loved home grown fruits, and from the looks of it, she had sent him a watermelon. He loved those the best. A slight smile crept into his face as he eagerly opened up the package. When he opened it, instead of having a scrumptious watermelon, he had seen baby shoes neatly placed in a clear box tied to a brick. His mother was really starting to get ridiculous! Apparently age was making a bored and deluded woman out of her. If Akihiko had anything to do with this, he would NEVER help the man out with his stupid BL series, and he would always bring Nowaki to make sure he does not come up with more creative ways. He went to pick up the phone and dial his friend's number.

"This is the great Usami Akihiko."

Hiroki twitched, his friend still seemed to believe he was a child, was he the only sensible person he knew? "Akihiko, I got a package from my mom."

"Oh, me too, she gave me so many watermelons, I had to give two to Takahiro." Akihiko decided to refrain from mentioning he did not offer Hiroki any because of how his boyfriend might react. He still could not believe his difficult friend was dating such a controlling man (he also could still not believe he was dating somebody like Misaki, either).

Hiroki was infuriated at this point, his anger was to the point that the house had begun to have a frightening atmosphere. His boiling mind tried to comprehend the situation logically. His cocky, useless friend gets an overdose of watermelons and he gets a brick and baby shoes?

"Well, do you happen to know what she sent me?"

"Yes, my secret is out. I have so much free time that I happen to walk into the backroom of the post office and check all of your correspondence. Since I'm there, I also check my neighbor's, your boyfriend's-"

"All right, I got it! She packaged baby shoes attached to a brick and disguised it so it would look like fruits."

Akihiko laughed so loudly at this, Hiroki actually felt his composure begin to falter through the phone. If he did not shut the man up, he would probably start to roll on the floor. "Since you had nothing to do with this, I will just let you carry on with your mail-browsing. Good day, Akihiko."

He did not wait for his friend to return the farewell, he closed the phone and went to hide the baby shoes. The best place to hide anything from Nowaki would be his office/library. A couple years ago when they had first started to live together, Hiroki realized that Nowaki would only go into his library if he absolutely had to. He also noticed Nowaki would only go through his own personal library or Hiroki's more modern stories. When he figured out this pattern, he had taken to hiding things from Nowaki in the pages of his text. Most notably the letters Nowaki had written him. They were arranged according to which book he felt had a similar theme to the letter that was hiding within it. This way, he would always know what particular letter he wanted to read on cold and lonely nigh-. There was no way he was finishing THAT statement. He saw a small, old book at the highest shelf and another one on the lowest shelf. He went for the lowest one, as Nowaki would actually have to struggle to reach down and not up. He hid the shoes behind the book and was pleased that they were not visible at all. Every cell in his body was just aching to demand an explanation from his mother, though, he would not be calling her. That is exactly what she wants and he was not giving it to her. He went on to make dinner and prepare for Nowaki's arrival.

Lady Kamijou simply did not feel well. She had a terrible cough, a horrible fever, and painful aches. They were the result of an indifferent son and the lack of calls about her package.

"Honey, but it's a celebration of my thirty years working there."

"I-i-i know, but if-f I-i-i cough out an intestine, I-i-i would be a shame to you."

"Is it really that bad, I'll call an ambulance, maybe it's pneumonia."

Lady Kamijou scrunched her face, "I know that the years have been slowly eroding my beauty and youth, but do you really have to remind me? I vowed to never go to a hospital until I'm one hundred and five years old, yet, you're already trying to make me feel that age sixty years too soon!"

"You would be turning that age in fifty-" The bedridden lady began to hide her face and tremble, thus not allowing her husband to finish.

"You are right, it is sixty years too early for an ambulance, but, it is not too early for a call to a doctor, once I call him, I'll leave. I will tell everyone that you just could not be there. Please, get well, soon, I do not enjoy these pesky guests as much as you do."

"That is because I married into the Kamijou family, not born into it. Otherwise, we would be living in an isolated island."

"I'll call you soon, okay? Tell me what the doctor says."

"If I can talk long enough without coughing out my liver.", Kamijou bent his head and kissed his wife sweetly on the cheek. He had been with the woman for far too long. He had known she was playing hooky from the moment her 'pains' had started. He would not call her out on it, though, for he knew his wife's ego made up for her petite physique. She would probably move out before admitting defeat, rather, he decided he would try to see what it is that has prompted her to prefer being in bed as opposed to a party. For she had never refused anything that involved socializing, and that made him genuinely concerned.

**DAYS LATER**

Lady Kamijou knocked outside a classroom door. A few seconds later she heard her lost son's voice beckoning her to come inside. She opened the door and found herself staring at a variety of eyes, all of which were upon her. Hiroki got up from his desk at the sight of his mother.

"Please excuse me, you may start on your homework", he swiftly grabbed his mother softly by the shoulder and walked outside with her. He closed the door, and looked at her. He tried his best to maintain calm, he was not really angry at seeing her there, rather, he was expecting it. He was also grateful she came to where he worked as opposed to going to his, no-_their_ apartment. Had she gone in and seen the two bedroom apartment, one with a king sized bed and the other with books and a desk, well, he would be downright _fucked_.

"Hiro-chan, has your girlfriend ever come see you lecture? You are so adorable doing it."

Hiroki opted to feign ignorance (and ignore her question) as to why she was there, "Did something happen to my father, why is it you came all the way over here?"

"The only thing that happened to your father is that he actually had to fulfill the role of host at his office party. I was so sick that day, Hiro-chan, I feared I might even have to do what elders do and go to a hospital."

"You didn't fall, mom?"

Lady Kamijou's eyes widened, did the men in her life not understand she was not an elder?"

"Hiro-chan, how awful of you to even come to that conclusion! I mean, really, it's sixty years too early to worry about that."

"Maybe for me.", Lady Kamijou did not fail to hear that comment, and promptly pulled his ear, much like she would do when he would not bid his tongue when younger.

"Anyway, Hiroki, I am here because I felt my presence was of need in that dispute between you and my daughter-in-law."

"What dispute, mother, also what daughter-in-law?"

"Hiro-chan! Do you think me so naive? I know you, you would do anything to make me happy and you've known for some years now what it is that I truly need to be happy. My grandchild's absence has even taken its toll on my body. I realized the one with the issue had to be your partner, Japanese women have become so radical now."

"Mom, that issue has _nothing_ to do with women."

"So then why don't I have any grandchildren?"

"I'll pass the message on to my p-partner, we'll talk about it and see what we feel will be the most comfortable option."

"No, Hiro-chan, if you haven't done it by now, you won't do it ever. I shall speak to her, I understand if you were both young and poor, but you are already thirty and certainly not poor."

"I'll speak to them I promise, just please go now, mother, you shouldn't leave dad alone, you know that!"

"I'm alone, not him! He went on a 'business trip' for a few days, but he only packed one suit! He thinks that my current health has made me stupid."

Hiroki grew cold as his mother's words sank in. She was alone, which meant, she was going to spend the next nights with him and his 'girlfriend' Nowaki. His mother was also expecting to give him a speech about why he hasn't has Hiroki's child. Oh God, what was he to do now?

"I would love to have you over for you not to feel alone, but I can't have you this week, mother, I'm sorry. If you want, I'll ask for the next day off so I can keep you company at home?"

"I came all of this way, I rode in that obnoxious limousine your father insists I use, for you to tell me you'll come home? Why can't I stay? A-are you ashamed of your mother?"

"I'm not ashamed of you, I just wanted an excuse to go eat your watermelons."

"Oh, sweetie, you don't need an excuse for that, you're my son, you'll always have me around no matter what." She gently tucked a strand of hair behind Hiroki's ear and smiled softly at him.

Hiroki felt something at his mother's words. They were so sincere it almost hurt, he had always sought out his mother's approval and acceptance when younger. He felt overwhelmed with guilt knowing his mother would never get the only thing she asks of him. Part of the reason he became so distant was so that he did not feel guilty of not ever having a family of his own. Not the kind she longs for, anyway.

"I would love having you over, but the timing is terribly inopportune, they recently discovered.. mold in the apartment and I've been staying at a hotel nearby with my roommate."

"Mold? What kind of rundown apartment do you have, Hiroki?"

"It just happened, I didn't deal with any of it, Nowaki did."

"Hiroki, why don't you stay at your girlfriend's house, then? Surely your roommate can afford a hotel room."

Hiroki had not thought of that, fortunately, he was able to respond, "She lives with her family."

"Oh, she's a decent girl. Then we certainly cannot seek refuge there, as her family would probably frown upon that kind of initiative. I don't wish to intrude in your life, still, I do not want to be in that house all alone. I suppose I could ask some friends to keep me company, but they're probably with their grandchildren."

"Do you want to stay at the hotel?"

"Oh, you certainly know how to lift my spirits, Hiroki, if you don't mind having your lovely mother around, I would love to join you. It has been years since I've been to a more public hotel, anyway."

"Then, come inside and I'll take you to my office after I finish with this class. I have a fifteen minute break before my next class and I could give you a quick tour so you could browse while I finish with my classes."

She nodded and opened the door, Hiroki followed after her, it was going to be a very long day. Hiroki finished with his class fifteen minutes earlier, partly because of his mom's presence and partly because he needed more time to get in touch with Nowaki. The Kamijous walked out of the classroom together and began to take a quick tour of where Hiroki felt his mother might want to go to kill the next three hours. He dropped her off in his office grateful that Miyagi was never in the university after 1 on Thursdays. As he walked towards his next class, he pulled out his phone and called Nowaki, hoping he would be able to pick up.

"Hiro-san!"

"Nowaki, are you working right now?"

"Not anymore, I just got out of work, do you miss me?"

"I need you to do me a favor. Please, go home pack a suitcase for each of us, go to the closest hotel nearby, check in, and make sure you get a room with one bed and another with two. I'll pay for everything, so use my card at the front desk."

"Is it possible to know why I'm doing you this favor?"

"Mold was detected in our home and we had to evacuate immediately. I uhh also need you to investigate anything that involves mold in apartments, since you were the one who handled the situation."

There was silence on the other end of the line, before Nowaki took a deep breath and answered the professor, "Are you trying out a kind of role play, Hiro-san? Like Constructor and client?"

Hiroki blushed deeply, he was still amazed at how Nowaki can turn anything into sex. "No! My mom wants to spend a few days with me and I told her we weren't in the apartment because there was mold. I couldn't let her go to our apartment and see that we only have one bed and two men in it."

"When I find the hotel, I'll contact you.", Nowaki had hung up before saying his usual farewells, and "I love you"s, he was obviously upset over this predicament, and Hiroki tried to shake off that feeling. It was hard to be torn between trying to please his mom and Nowaki. If only he were clairvoyant, he might know how to handle the situation better than he is now. He went into his classroom wishing for time to flash by.

"Hiroki, I know it is wrong on my part to interfere with your work, but I have absolutely nothing to do here, can I hope that you're back so we could leave?"

"Yes, I'm done, we can go now", Hiroki took his mother's bag and locked the office, Nowaki had sent him a text message with what hotel they would be staying in and the room numbers. He also said he would be waiting for them in the lobby to avoid any awkward scenarios should Hiroki get lost going to his room. Once they were outside of the university, Hiroki's mom was delighted at seeing a cab waiting for them, she had always loved how thorough Hiroki was. When they arrived at the hotel, Hiroki immediately spotted Nowaki and guided his mom towards him.

"Mom, this is Kusama Nowaki, Nowaki, this is my mother, Kamijou Rin."

Nowaki smiled and bowed deeply before the woman. He loved trying to picture what Hiroki's parents were like. He had always imagined Hiroki's boyish, soft- almost angelic features came from his mother. His imagination was more intuitive than he had given it credit for Hiroki and his mother looked more like twins separated by decades. The woman bowed as well and they all proceeded to their rooms.

"I asked Nowaki to change my room to accommodate the two of us. He was kind enough to get me a room with two beds."

"How thoughtful of you, Kusama-san, thank you, I was mildly worried of having to sleep with my Hiro-chan, we're both such cold-blooded creatures we'll be fighting for the covers."

"Kamijou-san, please call me Nowaki, and if I may be so bold as to disagree with you. There's absolutely nothing cold about you nor Hiro-san."

Lady Kamijou's cheeks brighten a little and she giggled into her hand. Kusama Nowaki was such a dashing young man and to hear such romantic words come out of such a gentleman brought her back to her (even more) youthful years of being courted.  
>Though Hiroki flushed profusely at Nowaki's words, his thoughts were a huge contrast to his mother. All he wanted was to disappear until the week was over and for his father to intensely summon his mother.<p>

The elevator opened and they all walked out.

***Please, nobody take any offense to this, I just based her reaction off of how my grandmother drastically reacts and/or jumps to conclusions. I did some research and found out that their husbands do not help at all, ususally stop interacting with them and it is the norm for them to have lovers. The child is solely the mother's responsibiltiy, with very little outside help and a whole lot of pressure from their peers, families, etc. Lastly, they are hardly ever able to go back to work and if they do manage to return, they get pressured to leave. I had wrongly assumed it came from how educated and career-driven women have become over the years.  
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**I'm sorry, I reallyyyyyy didn't want this story to turn out to be another Nowaki meets parents/mom thing, but the story simply took off without my consent and 3,000 words later I realized I was too lazy to change it. I hope it's still enjoyable enough? It'll be a really quick story as it was supposed to be a one-shot, but again, it spiraled out of control.  
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